Why Pet Loss Grief Feels So Intense (and So Real)

When we lose an animal companion, the grief can be overwhelming; sometimes even more than the grief we feel for certain humans in our lives. Many people quietly ask themselves: “Am I going mad for feeling this way?”

The answer is simple: No. You’re not mad. You’re human. And your grief is real.

Research helps explain why this bond runs so deep.

• They are part of our daily rhythm. Studies show that we interact with our pets on average 12–15 times a day, compared with only 2–3 times with most humans (Beetz et al., 2012). That constant presence builds a closeness few human relationships can match.

• They don’t deceive us or judge us. Pets meet us with honesty, presence and unconditional companionship. Unlike many human relationships, they don’t pretend or mislead us (Beck & Katcher, 2003).

• They are true attachment figures. Psychologist Kurdek (2008) found that many people rely on their pets for the same kind of emotional security usually reserved for close family. For some, their dog or cat is their most stable source of comfort and safety.

• They regulate our stress and emotions. Research shows that simply being around our pets can lower blood pressure and reduce anxiety (Allen et al., 2002). When that steadying presence is gone, the world can feel frighteningly unstable.

• They are family. Powell et al. (2019) found that pets are increasingly recognised as full members of the household, woven into our routines, decisions, and sense of home.

  
  

So when we lose them, it isn’t just a pet we’re grieving. It’s our daily rhythm, our emotional anchor, our safe place, our family.

This is why the grief can feel so intense, so raw, and sometimes even heavier than losing a human relative. It isn’t about comparison; it’s about the depth of the bond.

If you are grieving, know this: Your sorrow is a reflection of your love. You are not “too sensitive.” You are not overreacting. You are simply honouring the deep connection you shared, and that is something sacred.