Gentle Ways to Work With Resistance in Grief

Grief can sometimes feel too big to face all at once. Resistance; the urge to avoid, numb, or distract, is your mind and body’s way of protecting you. You don’t need to fight it; you can meet it with patience and kindness. Here are ten gentle ways to support yourself when resistance shows up.

1. Name What You Notice

Say to yourself, “I notice I’m avoiding this right now.” Simply naming resistance can take away some of its power.

2. Thank Your Protection

Instead of fighting resistance, thank it for trying to keep you safe. It is not your enemy; it is your body’s way of pacing the process.

3. Breathe Into the Present

Take three slow, steady breaths. Place a hand on your chest or belly and remind yourself, “I am here, I am safe.”

4. Take Tiny Steps

You don’t need to face the hardest memories straight away. Begin small, such as holding a photo, lighting a candle, or saying your pet’s name out loud.

5. Allow Oscillation

Grief is not constant. It is normal to move between engaging with the loss and stepping away. This back-and-forth is healthy.

6. Use Gentle Rituals

Light a candle, write a note, or create a small space with your pet’s collar or toy. Rituals give resistance a safe container.

7. Write Without Pressure

Set a timer for five minutes and write whatever comes, even if it’s “I don’t want to write this.” Journaling can let feelings through without force.

8. Move Your Body

Go for a short walk, stretch, or place your bare feet on the ground. Movement helps release tension that can keep emotions stuck.

9. Share With Someone Safe

Talk to a friend, counsellor, or support group who will listen without judgement. Being witnessed can soften resistance.

10. Rest Without Guilt

Sometimes resistance is your body asking for rest. Allow yourself to pause without shame. Healing happens in the spaces as much as in the effort.

Resistance does not mean you are doing grief “wrong.” It is simply your system pacing itself. By meeting it with gentleness, you create space for healing to unfold in its own time.