Being Mindful Can Totally Change Your Life

ve you ever really observed yourself and your life? Do you wonder how you got to where you are? Many people are shocked when one day they wake up and 30, 40 or 50 years have gone by and they wonder, what happened to their life.

It's not uncommon to miss life and all the precious moments where nothing is happening; apart from the noise in our head. It is the way most of us live. Hours, days, weeks and lifetimes can be lost in thoughts of things that are not actually happening apart from in our thoughts. When you think of it like that it sounds crazy doesn't it?

How often do you really enjoy and engage with the act of doing anything? Walking, driving, washing the dishes, cooking,  all these actions seem to be a means to an end and rushed through as quickly as possible to move on to the next thing, even if the next thing is to sit on the sofa and stare at a tv screen. What's the hurry to get through life? All those moments are our life. 

Do you ever notice the birdsong, the aliveness of your body, how your thoughts affect you and make you feel, the beauty of any given moment? Probably not. We all seem to be too busy trying to fix life as if everything that happens is a mistake.

When you are caught in the endless cycle of thinking either of the past or future you are missing the stillness and perfection of the moment. We mostly create such an attachment to our thoughts and believe them to be true, when actually they are only true for you and where you are.

Are your thoughts true? Are they helpful? Do they make you feel good? Or are they running your life and ensuring that you are never at peace? 

Take a step back and notice what is actually happening in this moment. Notice the sounds, smells, and things you can see. Move more deeply into your body and notice the sensations that are always there. When you start to do this on a regular basis it is possible to become aware of your thoughts. This allows you to become aware that you are not your thoughts, but on a deeper level you are the awareness behind them. You are observing yourself.

The one that is observing is different from the one that is thinking. The one observing is neutral, the one thinking is lost and confused, torn between thoughts that have no answer because to a mind that constantly thinks, there is always an alternative that keeps us trapped in the endless cycle of asking more questions. 

Perhaps the present moment seems boring because there is usually nothing happening in it, however, the result of missing the present moment is stress, anxiety, depression, a want for more and a deep dissatisfaction of life. So I suppose the questions becomes, how much do you want peace and what are you prepared to do about it?

It’s so easy to get caught up in our thoughts. When I find myself struggling I like to stop and take some deep conscious breaths. I tune into how I’m feeling and to what is actually going on around me. This helps me to stay in the present moment in the awareness that there is generally nothing going on that I have to fix and I am just caught in my thoughts.

If there is something happening, I also take deep conscious breaths and step back so to speak so I can take in the situation and buy myself time. Our usual reaction is to jump in and defend ourselves if we’re feeling attacked or overwhelmed in someway. However, having no outer reaction can be more powerful and bring more peace.

When I realised that I don’t have to join in, have an opinion or defend myself it gave me more peace. The sense of having to uphold a position that I am holding makes no sense anymore as I am only ever defending my position, which allowed me to see that my view is not always right for someone else.

Mindfulness allows us to be present and open to other possibilities, since everyone we meet has their own agenda and thoughts that they are holding onto. When we get caught up in defending our position too it just becomes a battle of wills with neither one convincing the other that they are right.

Taking time each day to take deep conscious breaths and to tune into ourselves can be really powerful. It can be done anywhere at any time; waiting for the kettle to boil, driving, walking… It’s like taking a mini holiday in the midst of my day.